Same-Sex Attraction: A Lesson from the Desert Fathers

On February 6, the Orthodox Church commemorates two great Fathers of the Desert: Barsanuphius the Great and John the Prophet

In sixth-century Gaza, Barsanuphius and John—the Great Old Man and the Other Old Man—dispensed guidance through hundreds of letters to monks and laypeople alike. Their correspondence, collected in Letters of Barsanuphius and John, confronts the full range of human passions with unflinching clarity and gentle mercy. 

The modern reader may be surprised to learn that, in one letter, these saints deal with the problem of homosexuality (Letter 255 or 258). Same-sex attraction is not a new problem, of course. The ancient Church—even the Desert Fathers!—understood such matters. And they addressed them matter-of-factly as part of the ordinary spiritual warfare a Christian might face.

The disciple—sometimes identified as St. Dorotheos of Gaza—writes with raw honesty: 

Pray for me, my Father, I am very much disturbed by thoughts of sexual sin, despondency, and fear; and a thought says to me that I should converse with a brother to whom I feel attracted when I see him, lest by my silence I give him occasion for suspicion. I feel likewise that the demons are somehow pressing me, and I fall into fear.

No euphemisms, no hand-wringing over labels. The disciple is bluntly honest with his spiritual father. Nevertheless, he recognizes that such desires come from the Devil.

Barsanuphius replies with paternal directness, never downplaying the struggle nor loading it with shame: “Brother! You are not yet instructed in warfare with the enemy, which is why there come to you thoughts of fear, despondency, and sexual sin. Stand against them with a firm heart.” 

The Great Old Man invokes Scripture: “God allows no temptation beyond our strength” (1 Cor. 10:13). Then, remarkably, Barsanuphius shares his own history: “I also in my youth was many times and powerfully tempted by the demon of sexual sin, and I labored against such thoughts... presenting before my very eyes the eternal tortures.” For five years he battled, contradicting every lustful impulse through ceaseless prayer and the remembrance of judgment, until God granted deliverance.

His practical counsel is straightforward and resolute: Do not fix your gaze or listen attentively to the voice of the one who arouses passion. If encounter is unavoidable, restrain your eyes with fear and decency, withdraw gracefully. “May the demons not weaken you,” he writes, “so as to turn your attention to a brother (to whom you are attracted), or to converse with him.” 

Instead, counsels the disciple, “Say to your thought: ‘Remember the terrible Judgment of God and the shame which will then overtake those who are attracted by these shameful passions.’” Victory lies in forcing the mind to face Eternity, not in confronting the temptation or pretending it does not exist.

In Orthodox teaching, same-sex attraction—like all disordered desires—is a passion arising from the Fall, a distortion of God-given eros inflamed by demons and our fallen nature. It does not define the person; the image of God endures, calling every soul to repentance and theosis. 

The Fathers reject both license and cruelty. They offer no stigma, only the call to crucify the flesh with its passions (Gal. 5:24) and rise in Christ. Chastity is the unchanging path for the unmarried, regardless of the direction of attraction. Struggle itself can be honorable, while surrender defiles the divine image within us.

Again, what astonishes us is the matter-of-fact tone with which homosexuality is discussed. There is no panic, no attempt to shame or stigmatize the disciple. This passion isn’t even given the dignity of a name. It is treated as one among many—lust, anger, vainglory—common to fallen humanity across centuries. The Church has always welcomed strugglers as brothers, offering the same medicine: vigilance, unceasing prayer, confession, and reliance on grace.

Barsanuphius ends with hope: “Compel your thought, and you will receive help, by the prayers of the Saints, and God will have mercy on you... Pay heed to yourself, as to how you will meet God.” In this mercy, the tempted discover strength. 

The Desert Fathers teach us to wage war without despair, to love the person without excusing sin, and to trust that Christ’s grace suffices for every battle. In cell or city, the call remains: Stand firm, pray without ceasing, and know that God’s light overcomes every darkness.

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