A Necessary Clarification On Elder Ephraim’s Monasteries and Parish Life

Following our recent interview with Bp. Emilianos of Meloa, a reader sent in the following question: "You mentioned Elder Ephraim's monasteries can be both a blessing but also have some aspects to watch out for. Should I be concerned about going, or should I just be on the lookout for certain things?"

The problem is not the monasteries themselves, nor the fathers, per se. As I mentioned, these monasteries are a huge blessing for us in America. The real issue is more complicated, and needs to be dealt with piece by piece.

1. Poor Catechesis

We do a poor job at catechesis. Very often, catechism is: “learn these doctrines and we’ll get you in as soon as we can.” In the writings of St. Cyril of Jerusalem, we see that during Great Lent of the third year, the bishop and clergy would sit in the center of the church and each candidate would enter the nave with their sponsor. The bishop would ask a series of questions about whether the catechumen is plagued by fornication, drunkenness, or other serious sins which would become stumbling blocks and bring shame to the Church. If the sponsor indicated they were still living in sin, they would be sent out to restart the catechetical process.

If we focused more on purification in catechism, we wouldn’t have so many new converts rushing to the monastery to confess—which they often do because they think monastics walk on water, that spiritual advice from a monastic trumps that of their parish priest, or because their pride prevents them from confessing a particular sin to their spiritual father.

2. Lack of Respect for Parish Clergy

One of the reasons people run to the monastery to confess is a general lack of respect for their spiritual father, their parish priest. There is this idea that a spiritual father must be a monastic. The reality is that God gave us married clergy in our parishes for a reason. They understand our situation in the world, what we can handle, and they advise us accordingly.

Just because you like the “dark” monastic ascetic and have started growing your hair and beard and carrying a prayer rope does not make you a monastic. Far too often, people run off to the monastery still dripping from the font, eager for the “real deal.” But the real deal is in your parish.

That’s not to say you shouldn’t visit the monasteries—you should. But as a general rule, you should confess to your spiritual father before you go, and you should only confess at the monastery and seek the advice of the fathers there with his express blessing. Too often, people go to the monastery because they asked their parish priest for advice and simply didn’t like the answer they received. So instead of being obedient to God, they run to the monastery for a “second opinion”—and then wonder why they leave in worse shape than they arrived.

I see this often, and it’s frustrating. A young man will ask me for advice; I’ll give him my opinion (which is all I can offer) and tell him to speak to our priest. The priest gives him similar direction—problem solved, right? Wrong. That’s not what he wants to hear, so he goes to the monastery and speaks to fathers in succession until he gets the answer he wants. He returns and begins carrying out this desired advice without ever speaking to the parish priest—whom he is now in direct and flagrant rebellion against—and when finally confronted, he says, “I’m just being obedient to Fr. So-and-so.” That’s not how that works. You cannot be obedient through rebellion. This is not simply spiritual immaturity; it is spiritual delusion.

3. Lack of Understanding of the Role of Monasteries in the Life of the Laity 

I’ll put this simply. The Church is a spiritual hospital. Our parishes are like a family doctor at a local clinic. He knows our history, and we can come to him with our questions—when we’re not feeling right, when a condition is flaring up, or when we injure ourselves.

Our monasteries, by contrast, are the intensive care unit. It is here that we go when a small infection becomes a life-threatening condition which, if not addressed immediately, will kill us. You wouldn’t go to the ICU for a migraine—you’d go to urgent care. Likewise, the ICU needs your medical records; a specialist works best when he has a referral.

The same applies here. Ideally, your parish priest will have a relationship with a particular monastery (or with the fathers of several monasteries within driving distance), and can communicate with them about past flair-ups and treatments. Think of these monasteries as being “in network.” It’s not that you cannot visit a monastery outside of that network, but understand that the cost of care—the journey, the struggle, and the healing—may be higher.

In Conclusion...

All this is to say: we bear some responsibility for the strain that has emerged between some of Fr. Ephraim’s monasteries and our parishes. Oftentimes, it is our own pride that causes these tensions. That does not mean there are not other issues that do need to be addressed. For example, there is the tendency of some fathers to tell those received by chrismation that they were improperly received and need to be baptized—only to refuse to do it themselves and send them to a ROCOR parish in hopes that the priest will baptize them. But even these issues are, oftentimes, tied to the spiritual immaturity of those visiting the monasteries.

Fr. Ephraim’s monasteries are a blessing. I myself have attended one on a regular basis in the past, I have directed friends to them, and often purchase candles, incense, and other wares to support them. My question to His Grace was not intended to dissuade people from going on pilgrimage, but to address a series of common issues we are facing in our parishes for the benefit of listeners. Nor was my intent to offend the fathers or those who visit the monasteries. If I have done so, please forgive me, a sinner.

I also want to reiterate something important: I am not an authority, I am just a layman on the internet. 

I do my best to repeat what the Church has taught and to speak from my own experience of living an Orthodox life in my community, but that’s all I can do; I’m not interested in being some internet guru. If I say something you disagree with or which raises questions, you should always defer to your parish priest—your spiritual father—not some guy on the internet.

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